As Personal as a Fingerprint

On making lists and other ways to find your happy

Welcome to enJOY! If this your first time, feel free to poke around the archives.
I am grateful to those who become paid subscribers, or who share these posts with others who might appreciate them. Thanks so much ❤️

---

It’s one thing to think about incorporating more fun, play, happiness, and joy into our lives, but how do we actually DO that? What is the formula? Where is the flow chart?

And if you have been raised in US culture—the question may be: Where can I buy it? Is there a pill or vitamin I can take? Where is the TEDtalk?

But these things are intensely individual. What makes you happy is as personal as a fingerprint; no two exactly alike. One person’s delight may be another person’s chore.

I love that.

I have been messing around with these ideas a long time—I recently found a list in a journal that dates back to 1993. I was just entering adult life and trying to figure out what made me happy. Partially, I think, I was trying to get a sense of who I was as separate from my mother—the dominant influence of my childhood. So the question really was: What makes ME happy?

The answer:
Long bike rides on sunny days
Running in the rain
Turtlenecks
Cards and nice stationary
Lemonade
Baseball games
Fountain pens

Most of these still make me happy.

I’ve found more recent lists as well—from 2019 or so. These I divided into play and joy, as I was wrestling with what each meant to me.

As you can imagine, I’m going to suggest you make a list of your own.

A lot of people don’t know what makes them happy, and many of us are being influenced by others—by family culture, friend expectations, social media, or advertising.

So, stepping away from all that, what makes YOU happy? If you had a day or week just for yourself, with no obligations or expectations, what would you do with it? Would you watch old classic movies in your pajamas all day, would you climb a mountain, would you feed ducks in the park?

[A common answer is to say sleep, which is always valid. But what would you want to do once you woke up, fully restored, after hours or days or even months of rest?]

A list is a good thing to have—even if you know what makes you happy. It may change over time. It’s also a resource to look at when you’re making your seasonal lists, or just trying to scatter some good stuff into your week. Think of it as a menu you get to order from.

Your list will not look like anyone else’s, which is my absolute favorite part. Some people like monster truck rallies, some people like the symphony; it’s all good.

I’d love if you wanted to share any of your list down below. I’m always on the hunt for new ideas for fun and happiness.

And for those of you with Summer Lists, how is it going? I did an update on mine last week, circling the activities I want to make happen this month, adding a few things I hadn’t planned for, and crossing out a few that aren’t going to happen this year. It’s always a work in progress.

Happy August! What do you need to make this month good?