Capturing Happiness

How to notice it, gather it, savor it

I first heard about a Happiness Jar in 2012, when the writer Liz Gilbert posted a photo of a large glass jar full of tiny slips of paper. At the end of each day, she said, she found a scrap of paper and scribbled down her best moment from that day and put it into the jar. She said it was amazing how the happiest moments were simple ones—feeling the sun on her face, the glimpse of a bird, a pleasant encounter.

Even on the biggest and brightest days of her life, Gilbert wrote—like the first time she was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show—her happiest moment had been getting ready in the hotel before the show with her mom. How her mother had ironed her sash and it made her feel like a beloved child all over again.

It’s true, the peak moments are not always the most glittery; they are the ones that mean the most to you.

“As years go by,” Gilbert wrote, “whenever I'm having a rough time, I dig through the jar and pull out random slips of paper, and delight in them—all those momentary gems of life that I would have immediately forgotten, had I not jotted them down. They bring infinite comfort.”

Her whole post can be found here, I recommend a read.

After I heard about Gilbert’s Happiness Jar, I gave it a try, and I did enjoy it. But consistency is not my strong suit and the practice eventually fell by the wayside. When I came upon the jar months later, it was fun to read through the slips. I can imagine it would be wonderful to have a full year of them to look back on.

In order to be successful, however, I needed to adapt the practice (which Gilbert recommends). This is where my calendar comes in. I use a daily planner and I started recording my happiest moment there, in the bottom corner. I like having it visible, as it is a reminder to make sure to fill it in. And now, when I flip through my schedule book, I see moment after lovely moment and it’s like a wave of pleasure rising up. Again, they are not massive wins—just small and personal, significant only to me.

Here are some recent captures:

• Starting to run again, and how it makes me feel like a teenager.

• An old and unexpected song that came on and made me dance around the kitchen first thing in the morning (who knew The Monkees were my jam?).

• When I pulled out my tent and the smell that came off it—of sunshine and pine woods and campfire smoke—brought back every happy summer memory and I was overwhelmed by the goodness of it all.

None of these are ground shaking; all would likely have been lost if I hadn’t written them down. And you don’t need a jar or a schedule book—just whatever method works for you. It could be a list you keep in the notes function of your phone. Just a way to capture them, and a way to review them later, when and if you choose.

I want to weave in the idea of gratitude lists here—as many people recommend them and gratitude is a powerful way to shift perspective. I also know, from personal experience with depression, that gratitude can be hard to access at times. When it’s a struggle just to get out of bed, gratitude can feel like far too big of an ask.

I’ve learned that capturing these moments translates into a gratitude for them, in a way that might not happen in reverse. As Gilbert says: “… even the horrible days have one least-bad moment.”

The accumulation of those moments leads to something far more than the sum of its parts—a greater appreciation, a deeper way of interacting with the good that is already there, and a way to hold onto it longer. And you may find you have more than one good moment, you may have many. Paying attention seems to make them multiply.

A recent day of mine included four. And I wrote them all down, it felt like an act of celebration.

It also helps us understand what brings happiness—because everyone has a different formula. Is it interaction with others that makes your good moments, is it physical, is it time outside, is it sensory, is it crafty, is it edible?

I am always surprised—because I think of myself as an introvert—that my best moments are often about connecting with other people.

I also like sensory things more than I realized. One of my recent highlights, on a day spent entirely working, was eating six raspberries at the end of my desk lunch, slowly, one by one, with great relish.

Keep an eye out for those moments. The more we understand what brings us delight, the more we can put ourselves in those sorts of circumstances.

[This is also something that can be done in tandem with others—a partner, or as a family. You could help your kids notice and appreciate their best moments, too.]

Do you capture happiness in some way? If you never have before, I’d encourage you to experiment—try it for a month, or even just a week. Think of it as a very low stakes tool of discovery. And if you care to share, I’d love to hear what you find.

My best moment for today (thus far): picking up the phone and hearing the voice of a friend who has been going through hard times sounding strong and happy again ❤️

It really doesn’t have to be big. Just keep an eye out and write it down. You may be surprised by what you find.