My favorite bouquet ever

I wrote recently about how I’m working on learning how to receive—at least, I am trying to. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying not to have needs and trying to control outcomes, so it’s a bit of a challenge. But I know this is the path forward for me.

I don’t always love jargon, but people often call this a “growth edge.”
As Kim Romain explains it:

Growth edges exist everywhere--at work, at home, in our systems, on our teams. They are those places that have fear on one side and change on the other. The edge is the place in the middle. Sometimes it can feel like going through the eye of a needle. Other times it can feel like jumping off a cliff. It’s the gatekeeper to moving from the known to the unknown.

Growth edges occur wherever there is change and our perception is being challenged.

But I am finding, over and over again, when I push myself a little further into the unknown, I am always glad that I did. The discomfort holds all sorts of goodies.

In this case, it even holds flowers.

When my friend Karen asked if I wanted some dahlia tubers, I almost said no. I am picky about what goes into my garden. There are flowers—and entire color groups—that I appreciate in other gardens but don’t want in my own.

But I have ignored my dahlias for several years now, and lost a good number to a hard freeze. If I wanted flowers this year, I was going to have to plant more. But I’ve been busy with deadlines and work—and investing in a lot of tubers is not the wisest decision for my finances right now.

Also, my homework in life right now is to say yes and thank you. And so I did.

This is how I ended up with a paper bag bearing my name on it and absolutely FULL of dahlia tubers—far more than I expected.

Dahlias are generous plants—they give ongoing flowers in late summer, but also tuber roots you can divide and share—but the truth is also that Karen is one of the most generous people I know.

When I saw how full the bag was, I knew I needed to unpack it on a special evening, to make a little celebration out of it. All these amazing tubers!

I know they don’t look like much now, but just you wait.

A few of the tubers were flowers I know, but many were dahlias I’ve never heard of.

I got so into this idea of someone else picking out the flowers in my garden, I almost didn’t look up the photos, to see what they look like. Maybe I could just plant them and be delighted by whatever came up?

[Note: I know this work is changing me, because I do not even recognize this person. I am the one who spent years trying to get the exact right dahlia in the exact right place so the flowers wouldn’t clash (which, by the way, is a fool’s errand).]

Eventually, curiosity got the better of me. I had told Karen the colors I really avoid, but not more than that. And when I looked up the images, I was greeted with all this beauty. Can you believe it?

Of course, things can happen between tuber and bloom (we have wild bunnies in the garden now; some sort of fencing will be needed). But this is already my favorite bouquet I’ve ever received.

The feeling of care, of receiving these tubers from a friend’s garden in a season of my life when I had no time or energy to chase them down myself is far sweeter than any perfect flower I’ve ever selected. I know I will treasure these in a way I hadn’t the others, even my favorites. And it makes me want to share with others as well. I want us all to have this feeling of receiving such generous delight.

In unpacking my own personal issues, I realize I am also unpacking the culture I was raised in—one that tells us we have to do it all ourselves, to work hard for the money to buy all that we need, and strive for perfection in everything.

It’s not a healthy way to live. It’s not a happy way to live, either. It’s exhausting and isolating and no fun.

These tubers, divided by a friend, packed in a paper sack and given to me feel like more than just flowers—it is an act of love and care. A bit of her garden will now bloom in mine. And that connection is the most beautiful thing ever.

Thank you, Karen! I will treasure these.

And thanks to you for being here. I hope you have a good week.

—Tara

If you want to learn more about dahlias, I should perhaps mention I’ve written a whole little book about these flowers—and it is gorgeously illustrated by Emily Poole. I recently learned it’s going to be released in ebook format this summer.

Even if you are not a gardener yourself, it will give you a greater appreciation for these generous plants, which bloom from midsummer to the first frost and actually produce more flowers the more you harvest—a perfect excuse to cut and give away. Because generosity begets generosity and makes all of us happier and healthier.

Something else to enjoy: my books