The best thing I've done

A few weeks ago a woman in an online group I’m involved with asked a question that I’ve been thinking about ever since: What is the best thing you’ve done over the past ten years that has improved your life?

The woman was coming out of a difficult stretch, she said, dealing with ill health and depression, and wanted to chart a better path. She was looking for inspiration.

I was curious to read the answers from other members, to see what had been helpful to them.

One woman started walking more during the pandemic, which lead to an interest in birds and birdwatching and now her whole family had become avid birders, leading to shared adventures and a connection to wonder and the natural world even though they live in a city.

There were a lot of people who said developing an exercise routine had been life-affirming and supportive. Many others credited mediation for making a positive impact on their mood and mental health. One woman said developing a reading habit, another said limiting the time she spent on her phone.

For me, I didn’t even have to think about it. I knew the best thing I’ve done the past ten years was to get a dog—but not for the reasons you might assume. Not in a way I ever anticipated either.

Getting a dog has had the obvious and expected impacts—locking in a daily dose of exercise, having a bit of companionship, and a wriggly warm body to pet. That’s all good. But the way it’s changed my life is less about the dog and more about something else.

The dog connected me to the neighborhood.

I had always walked around here—mostly to get to a wilderness park nearby. But now I was stopping to let the dog say hi to other dogs, I was meeting their owners, and also the neighbors who happened to be out in their yards—having a dog causes you to pause for sniffing and saying hi.

After weeks and then months of saying hi, conversations took hold, some of which have led to friendships. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have hosted a block party last year if I hadn’t gotten the dog. I wouldn’t have known about the party for UPS Ben. I wouldn’t have gone camping with my neighbor and discovered the bald eagle nest (I wouldn’t even known that neighbor if not for our dogs). When I trace it back, so much started with the dog.

Seattle is a city not known for outward warmth—there’s even a name for it: the Seattle Freeze. Every neighborhood I’ve lived in here people have been polite but reserved. But the dog provided a way through that reserve. I recently realized that, if I were to lock myself out of my house, there were 18 different houses I would feel comfortable going to and asking to use their phone—I could even stretch it to 24 if I really needed to. That’s far more than anywhere I have ever lived before.

Knowing the people around me has had the best and biggest impact on my life these past few years—like a gift I didn’t know I needed. And it’s one I take seriously.

If you are in the US, and even if you are not, the news is not good these days. I suspect we are in for some hard times—with climate-related disasters increasing and politics that do not represent the majority of the people. Our community connections are going to be increasingly important as we figure out how to take care of each other in unstable times. It may be a block party this week, but it could be a flood or a fire next week. Our modern lives actively work against community—we turn to delievery services for support rather than those who live next door—but the truth is we’ve always needed people around to help and be helped by.

I’m so glad for this question—for reminding me how it’s all connected.

What about you? What’s the best thing you’ve done in the past ten years? Sometimes tiny changes can have huge impacts.

Oh, and the photos are from a dog walk where I ran into two neighbors who were giggling over a bottle of St. Germain. These two live next door to each other, one with the gorgeous white poodle. Every spring they share a delivery of garden mulch—and, apparently, also French liqueur, which they offered  to share with me. On another recent meeting, I walked away with a bouquet of old-fashioned garden roses that perfumed my house for a week.

Get to know your neighbors. Life is more fun that way 😊