That fizzy feeling

It’s the week after Labor Day here in the US—otherwise known as The Week Kids go Back to School (if they haven’t already). While it’s not something I ever anticipated, I find myself delighted by this week every year.

I am not a parent celebrating the return to more structured days, or feeling sad that the freedoms of summer are over. Rather, I love seeing the photos of kids in my orbit heading back to school with carefully selected outfits and freshly washed faces. I love marveling at how much everyone has grown (time is a trick played on us all, I have decided).

This morning I was looking at photos of a friend’s daughter heading off to 8^th grade and I could FEEL the emotions of the day. That fizzing in your belly—the mixture of excitement and nervousness when things are new and maybe a little bit scary.

I realized I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.

If I am honest, life has been feeling flat and dusty lately. I wasn’t sure if it was the time of year—that odd melancholy that can come with the end of summer. Perhaps it was something unique to me—or the ongoing and unrelenting war in Gaza (How can it be nearly a year of this horror?). Or maybe it’s getting sick with Covid again (sigh). But it’s left me feeling like the color has drained out of life.

Try as I might, I haven’t been able to shift it.

I know the weather will help—autumn always brings me back to myself with a quickening in my veins. This is my season and it makes me want to sharpen pencils and make plans. But these back to school photos gave me an idea.

I want to do something this season that pushes my comfort zone—something that will give me that nervous fizzy feeling in my belly of anticipation and a little fear.

I don’t know what that will look like—maybe a drawing class (I’m awful, but I want to be good), maybe I’ll try to improve my public speaking (also not a strong suit). Maybe it’s time to take a dance class again, or join a new club, or get a wetsuit and commit to swimming through the winter (scary but exciting).

I’m not sure yet what I’ll pick, but that is part of the fun.

It strikes me that we don’t appreciate what it was to be in school—where each year we had our lives shaken up in so many ways (new classes, new classmates, new locker locations and clubs and team sports). We took that fizzy feeling for granted, I know I did.

This year I’m going to conjure it up for myself. I think the push to try something new and (slightly) intimidating might be just what I need to bring the contours of life back in focus again.

What about you? Want to join me?

TO SHARE:

Two lovely reads about this season that I stumbled upon (unlocked):
How Should We Mourn the End of Summer?, by Cody Delistraty
At Summer’s End, a Moment of Wild Surprise, by Margaret Renkl

And my favorite of all my back to school photos. Some of us were geeky enough to show up to school with books in hand already (also, gracious, those ugly socks!).

I hope your September is off to a good start ❤️

Another something lovely to enjoy: my books